Why

Tears and Fears and Tests

I’m sad that over this last year I have not dedicated time at night to diarize what has gone on in our world of doctors and specialists for Greg.  After stating on my Facebook page about starting this year by journaling, I have already failed that.  But today is a new day and it’s not too late.  I’m going to keep a diary about this journey Greg and I are on.  What changed?  Life changed and will continue to change.  Writing about it helps to release feelings and tension.  Whether I choose to re-visit the year later, is up to me.  My sister and I went to clean our parents’ home in a lodge.  It was overdue for a cleaning.  We found my mom’s journals on a bottom shelf.  There were quite a few.  But it inspired me to write my stories for myself.  Not the ‘I got up today and made coffee’ stories, but the things that really are heavy on our hearts, happy or sad,  things that did or might change our lives.

On Monday, Feb. 22 life did change . . . that particular morning I left our house after kissing our puppy and hugging him as he lay on the sofa very weak and very sick.  I was to leave shortly to go to the Foothills hospital to go thru a series of tests to see if my kidneys were strong and healthy, healthy enough to give one to my husband.  It was a bitter sweet morning.  I cried because my puppy was probably dying and I had to leave him, but I had to leave to see if I could give my husband a better life.  It was a horrible feeling to leave my husband at home with a sad heart along with our puppy.  We had noticed on Friday that “Meeka” was beginning to get very lethargic.  On Saturday morning we had a vet appointment.  Meeka was diagnosed with a blood disease.  A blood disease that very much resembled Greg’s disease.  How could this be?  This was crazy.  The timing is just unbelievable.  The coincidence that he also has a blood disease is just incomprehensible.  We chose to take Meeka home and give him 2 drugs.  One would build red blood cells and one would kill the bad blood cells that were killing the red blood cells.  He became worse and worse.  We carried him out to go pee and carried him back in.  He wasn’t eating and not sleeping well.  He began a rough cough too.  His eyes were very yellow.  On Monday, after I left for my appointment, Greg took Meeka back to the vet to see if there was anything they could do to get him to perhaps eat.  When the vet saw him she said he was loosing a lot of blood, thus the yellow eyes.  Greg left him there for the day to see what, if anything, they could do.  I got home at 4:00 and at 5:00 we returned to the vet clinic and said our goodbyes to Meeka.  He was so weak that he could not hold his head up.  When he heard Greg and my voice his breathing became more laboured.  He knew we were there but he couldn’t lift his head or wag his tail.  We kissed him, cried, and said goodbye to our little “buddy bear”.  He was always there for Greg, together with him everyday, especially since we moved back to Alberta and Greg worked from home.

Talk about emotional.  And to go back a bit . . . I’ve walked thru this storm with Greg and told him the stories that he didn’t remember about being in the hospital.  To possibly have the opportunity of giving him a better life was not even a decision I had to think about.  Of course I was scared saying yes, I think that’s just being human.  It does involve surgery after all.  If I don’t make the grade then there are other options, but we won’t go into that right now. 

The doctors and specialist that he has seen over this past year is overwhelming.  The lab work is constant.  Each day is different in how he may be feeling.  We take the good days and go with it and he rests on the bad days. 

I’m not sure when I will hear the results from my tests.  If it’s a ‘thumbs up’, we wait for the doctors to decide when Greg should be given another kidney.  His kidneys have to be functioning at a certain % before they will go forward.  He will then have 3 kidneys as they do not remove any.  He would be given the lesser of mine, leaving me with the better one. 

I still cannot believe the timing of all that has happened this last week and the coincidence of loosing our puppy and how. 

So I will be here again, shortly I assume, with the results and the next step in our life.

~Bonny

Bathroom Organizer

I just love my makeup organizer in our en suite.  

I know that today you can find a lot of different organizers but they just didn’t work for me so I created my own.

Small Organizer

7 top pockets:

2 ¼”, 1”, 2”, 2”, 2”, 1”, 2 ¼”

3 bottom pockets:

5”, 3”, 5”

Large Organizer

5 top pockets:

1 ¾”, 3 ½”, 3”, 3 ½”, 1 ¾”

3 bottom pockets:

4 ¾”, 4”, 4 ¾”

We had a very small 3 piece en suite at one time with no storage space so every thing ended up on the counter.  When it came time to pack to go anywhere I was always frustrated at picking all the makeup I’d be using and throwing it all into another bag, only to be digging in it to find something or dumping it out on the counter.

So I created these organizers that were off the counter and very convenient every day.  This meant a cleaner counter top for sure.  Every thing I needed every day was right in front of me.  I had room for the regular favourites and the special items.  The organizer has grommets that hold a small suction cup which fasten onto the mirror.

When it’s time to pack I just grab my organizers and either place them in a zip lock baggie or any bag with a zipper.  When I arrive at my destination, I can hang them up on the bathroom and have every thing at hand, neatly displayed for me.

I’m currently working on a few different sizes but these are 2 of my earlier ones.  I'm always perfecting and creating a better look.

Till Later,

~ Bonny

Happy New Year and First Post for 2016

I thought it was only fitting that since my last entry was January 3, 2015 that I wait till January 3, 2016 to blog again.

Happy New Year to you all!

We all have resolutions for the new year, some that we fulfill and some that we don’t. 

I need to be more faithful in my blogging. Just do it! Be less a perfectionist.

I want to journal-blog each month.  

I need to be consistent with updates to my Instagram and Facebook Page.  

I need to spend more evenings repainting furniture. 

I need to sew more projects. 

I want to take better pictures. 

I want to start playing the piano again. 

I need to keep my office space organized. 

I need to finish painting the house. 

I need to exercise and walk the dog more. 

I want to collect unique accessories for the house.

AND on a more personal note:

I want to be a more loving wife, less selfish and more patient.

The past year has been pretty good.  I’ll take it over the year before.  I’m in the process of writing about the last months in 2014.  That was the year we moved back to Alberta.  It’s a long process to do this writing thing.  It was a personal journey for me and our family.  I’m writing it basically for me but I know there are those who might find it good to read about what happens when a family goes thru a crisis like we did.  I’ll be posting it here in my blog when I get it done.

I had time for a few projects in 2015.  

We bought our first RV and did a lot of camping.  We hope to do a lot again this year but we’ll have to wait and see how that turns out.

I’m excited and anxious about what this year holds for our family.  I’m hoping that a few dreams come true and maybe a few surprises come along that excite us beyond anything we could ever imagine for us.  These aren’t secrets at all, but if you follow me on this blog you will find out all the things my heart hopes for and see the path that our life has been travelling on. 

~ Bonny