Journaling September

Sadness

 

Sometimes people find these beautiful fall leaves

that are perfect and the color is gorgeous. 

 

I have a few large piles of leaves that have blown together

and they lay on the deck or in the corners. 

I walk thru them everyday and here them crackle. 

 

But this leaf in particular caught my eye. 

 

It's not bright orange, or red or even a beautiful brown.

 

It's blah, but I find it simply beautiful.

 

SEPTEMBER went by in a blur. 

I had a birthday, yea.

We celebrated our 35th Anniversary, YEA!

 

But in the midst of all this, my husband fell ill to Pneumonia.

Ya, you're thinking . . . alot of people have had it.

 

But this was different.  Four weeks ago, it began with a cough. 

Thinking it was getting better, he left on a business trip to the States and Mexico.

 

When he got home a week later, a Friday night, he looked like a 90 yr. old man.

I said, "this is not right" and went to the hospital walk-in clinic the next day.

We were told he was dehydrated and should also take Aleve for the muscle pain. 

No blood work done.

 

Tuesday was still not looking any better so the doctor saw us and said, "you have a lung infection".  Ok, anti-viral drugs, x-rays, etc, etc.  Everything to make it better.

NOT.

 

X-ray results came back, we were called in again, it's Pneumonia. 

More drugs, another x-ray.

Still no blood work.

 

Results back again, we were called in again,

this time she says, "you're too sick to have Pneumonia".

WHAT!

 

Another x-ray and CT scan ordered and we were told,

"if you don't feel any better tomorrow, admit yourself".

Ok, that's exactly what we did on Friday, October 3rd. 

Blood work, FINALLY! 

White cell count way too high. Hello.

 

Hubby was admitted right away.  It's going to be a long journey till he is strong again and feeling 100%.  I'm writing this after returning from the hospital today. I feel so sad for him.  I can't make him comfortable, I can't take away the pain, I try to be silent and ask very little questions of him.  But I love him and that's all there needs to be.  So I sit quiet and I'm there when he needs me.  I'm so thankful for the excellent care he's been given,

the nurses are wonderful.

 

This was not how we planned the end of September to go and especially how we planned to get this move back to Alberta done.

Everything is on hold and our movers have been pushed back 1 week.  I'm hoping for an honest conversation with the doctor tomorrow as we proceed with life this week.

 

I'm discouraged and wonder why things happen the way they do sometimes.

I'm holding out for things to miraculously work out and they usually do but still, I can't help but wonder why it all had to happen when we were so excited to return home to family.

 

This too shall pass and soon we will look back at the seasons in our lives. 

 

Till OCTOBER and hopefully a new brighter journal entry.